Therapy for Gen Z & Millennials

Kacie’s* Reality Wasn’t Her IG

Kacie’s IG stories, such as showing off her acceptance to grad school, trips with friends, and yummy meals, were always blowing up. But the stories were edited and only showed a side of her she curated for the audience.

The truth was that the Ghosts of Men Past haunted Kacie. It was embarrassing to admit because her friends warned her that her ex was a jerk, but she defended him. They told her he was cheating on her, and she stayed.

Kacie didn’t tell them the worst of it because she couldn’t deal with hearing them yell at her to leave. They didn’t know about the times he hurt her, the times he called her names, or all the times she questioned her sanity through it all.

Luckily, Kacie Got Out

After 14 months of hell, she used a semester abroad as her exit strategy. That semester was her way to get away from him. So, she left and didn’t look back. Once she was out, she sent him a breaking-up message, blocked him on social media, and deleted all traces of him. She also cut off ties with every friend in common.

At first, it was great! Kacie felt relief. She could breathe again, having fun in a new city and making new friends. It was a blast. The drinking age was 18, everyone had fun accents, and she could be anyone she wanted to be! She could start over.

Until one night, it came crashing down on her. Some guy she barely knew assaulted her. His friend liked her friend, and somehow it all happened. She’d replay it in her head to figure out where she went wrong – “If I wasn’t so drunk,” “How do I keep finding guys like that,” and “Guys just want one thing.”

Her world shrank. Study abroad was supposed to be a new beginning – not a confirmation of her worst fears. She came home different after three months – but not different in the way she had hoped.

Kacie talked less, went out less, and struggled more. Her senior thesis was coming up, and she couldn’t wrap her head around it all. Deadlines were passing, and everything felt like it was teetering on the edge of disaster.

The Counseling Center Couldn’t Help Her

Paying over $50k a year for school should mean some perks go along with it. Right? So, Kacie grabbed her campus ID and trotted off to the Counseling Center.

Although seen quickly, she didn’t realize that they would only offer eight sessions or that she’d have to see an intern who was barely older than she was.

And that they’d recommend she see a “specialist” – whatever that means anyway. They gave her some names of people for “long-term therapy,” and all she could think was, “Damn, I must be fucked up if they can’t even help me.”

So, Kacie did what she does best. She mustered through and somehow finished her thesis – though it was all a blur. She graduated from college – that last semester dragged on.

Surprisingly, Kacie received an offer to grad school. All the while, her IG stories kept up the façade. No one knew; she kept it all locked away deep inside. Kacie didn’t tell anyone what happened to her that night abroad.

Cue to Kacie’s Quarter-Life Crisis

Grad school was hard, like really fucking hard. The amount of work due each week was insane! How could she keep up with it? She couldn’t sleep or eat and could barely concentrate. In undergrad school, Kacie made up some story to give her professor, and she’d get an extension. That was not happening here!

Failure wasn’t an option. That would be way too embarrassing. Plus, what would Kacie do with her life? How would she pay back all that student loan debt without a legit job? She needed to figure out how to make this shit work.

Eaten Up with Loneliness

Kacie also felt lonelier than ever – detached and isolated.

She was around people all the time, but she grew distant from her friends and family. She couldn’t depend on any of them, and stuffed all the bad things deep inside.

Her dating life was a mess because she didn’t trust being alone with the guys she met. She didn’t feel comfortable and was constantly worried about lousy shit going down.

Her mind wandered, taking her back to awful memories. She felt trapped in the past as if it was happening all over again. She would try to numb herself with food or alcohol, and avoidance became the best way to get through – stay clear from anything that could remind her of the past.

But that meant limiting herself and living a smaller and smaller life.

Kacie + Cassie = Recovery

After a solid Google search, Kacie finally accepted that therapy was probably her best bet for changing things.

But this time, she wanted someone who knew what they were doing and how to help her. So, she began calling around to therapists she found online. Most never got back to her, a few were just straight-up weird, and some seemed reluctant to work with her.

But one finally said, “I think you should contact one of my colleagues,” and they passed along a name.

When she called, she didn’t know what to say. It made it more comfortable when the voice on the other end of the call led the conversation. The therapist’s conversation was direct, they seemed comfortable talking about things, and didn’t flinch at any details. “Yeah, a lot of girls go through that after an assault” was an oddly relieving thing to hear.

Therapy Had Structure

There was a routine that was predictable and made sense. Kacie loved organizing her homework with printed out materials, binders, and sticky notes to match. She finally felt more put together.

The homework was super logical. It looked easy at first glance, but it was sneaky challenging in a good way.

For the first time, Kacie could slow down her brain and take a good long look at what was happening inside her head. She became in charge of her thoughts and emotions instead of allowing them to take charge of her. She finally felt in control of her life and herself.

The skills became more automatic. Kacie began using them all the time, even without the worksheets in front of her.

The skills she was learning were practical to all areas of her life. Sure, they helped her cope with the past. But they also gave her an advantage in other areas of her life. She could process things better in class, focus easier on writing her papers, enjoy being around people, and even began to laugh at funny things genuinely.

But what surprised her the most was how therapy also helped her address significant areas of her life that she hadn’t even noticed direly needed help.

The modules on Safety, Trust, Power/Control, Esteem/Intimacy were like a surprise bonus. She thought she was going to therapy to stop thinking about the past, but suddenly, she was calmer and more rational in the here and now.

For the first time in a long time, Kacie could see her future again. At 25, she finally had her life back.