Why EMDR Doesn’t Work (For You)

You were really hoping this would help. You were desperate to feel better. And you’d heard so many amazing things about EMDR—from Prince Harry to Miley Cyrus to other celebrities and even people in your own life.

So when it didn’t work… it felt like a gut-punch.

Here’s the truth: EMDR is a great therapy. It’s powerful. And it’s helped a lot of people. But it’s not perfect. And it’s not for everyone.

Let’s talk about why it might not have worked for you—and what to try instead.

There are a few different types of trauma therapy that work. One of them is EMDR.

But EMDR is a therapy where the therapist does something to you. They might wave lights in front of you or guide you through tapping or other sensory techniques. For some people, this feels a bit bizarre.

More importantly, it can feel disempowering. You’re not in the driver’s seat.

And for people who’ve already experienced trauma and lost a sense of control, this kind of setup can actually reinforce feelings of helplessness.

If you left EMDR sessions feeling uncomfortable or powerless, this might be why.

Here’s something a lot of people don’t know:

In true exposure therapy, you’re supposed to face your fears without using any avoidance strategies.

Avoidance is what keeps trauma stuck. But EMDR pairs exposure with sensory overrides to soften the experience.

Lights. Tapping. Buzzers.

And while those things can make EMDR feel more manageable, they can also dilute the effectiveness.

For some people, that means they don’t get the full healing effect. Not because they didn’t try. But because the method itself is designed to be gentler—which can sometimes mean it doesn’t go deep enough.

This one’s tough, but it’s real.

When EMDR became popular, trainings spread fast. Too fast.

Trainers trained other therapists—who trained more therapists—and so on. Think of it like the telephone game from kindergarten.

By the time you get to the sixth or seventh round, the message is scrambled.

A lot of therapists were taught second- or third-hand versions of EMDR. And if your therapist didn’t train through EMDRIA (the gold standard), they might not have followed the model with fidelity.

I know some therapists get offended by this. But it’s the truth. And it matters.

You’re not out of options.

There are three evidence-based trauma therapies that consistently help people recover. EMDR is just one of them.

Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) is another.

And it might be the one that works best for you.

CPT is nothing like EMDR.

• You don’t have to relive your trauma.
• You don’t even have to talk about what happened.

Instead, CPT works by rewiring how your brain interprets information. Right now, your brain might be stuck in danger mode. CPT helps recalibrate that.

Rather than exposing you to your triggers, CPT helps you understand how your brain got stuck and teaches you how to get unstuck.

To become a CPT therapist, you have to be trained by one of the model’s original creators.

There are only three.

I was trained by Dr. Kathleen Chard, one of the original authors of CPT. She was my direct supervisor and oversees how CPT is implemented across all VA hospitals.

That level of oversight and fidelity matters. Because it means that when you work with a CPT therapist, you’re getting the real thing—not a watered-down version.

There’s even a roster of therapists who have gone through this whole process and are deemed effective at following the model. You can find the roster here and sort through it by state (You’ll find me listed under Massachusetts).