PTSD & Holiday Stress | Worse PTSD Symptoms & How to Cope

Introduction: The Brain on Trauma and Holiday Stress

For a lot of people, the holidays bring some combination of excitement, stress, and family dynamics that might feel predictable but manageable. However, if you’re dealing with PTSD, the holiday season can be more than “a little overwhelming.” PTSD doesn’t just create temporary stress—it fundamentally rewires the brain. Research has shown that trauma changes the way parts of the brain, like the amygdala (our fear center) and Pre-Frontal Cortex (our language & logic hub), respond to life’s challenges. Essentially, PTSD keeps the brain stuck in “survival mode,” constantly on the lookout for threats, even when they aren’t present.

Add to this the heightened expectations, family gatherings, and disrupted routines of the holiday season, and it’s easy to see how holiday stress can leave trauma survivors feeling even more on edge. In fact, studies from Harvard Medical School report that around 62% of people feel their stress levels climb during this time. So if you have PTSD or unresolved trauma, it’s no wonder the holiday season might feel like it’s pushing you to your limit.

In this post, we’ll explore the specific ways the holidays can make PTSD symptoms worse—and offer some practical, trauma-informed strategies to help you manage.

Section 1: How the Holidays Amplify PTSD Symptoms

1. Family Dynamics and Relationship Triggers

For many survivors, trauma doesn’t come from strangers but from those close to them. This makes holiday gatherings difficult; you might be surrounded by people who represent painful parts of your past, or you might feel that you need to keep boundaries around those who have caused you pain in the past. Even simple interactions—like a relative’s “innocent” hug or a family member’s offhand comment—can open up wounds you thought were healing.

On top of that, family gatherings can become political battlefields, especially in today’s polarized climate. If those viewpoints challenge core parts of who you are or feel personally invasive, these conversations can feel like personal attacks rather than the casual disagreements others might perceive. One way to manage this is by setting boundaries before you arrive, especially around conversations that might take a toll on your emotional energy.

2. Disrupted Routines and Loss of Control

Routine is a lifesaver when you’re managing PTSD. Consistent daily practices give the brain a sense of predictability and control, which helps keep anxiety and stress in check. But the holidays bring countless disruptions—changes to meal times, sleeping schedules, travel, and the general hustle and bustle of holiday events.

For trauma survivors, the unpredictability of holiday events can mirror the chaos that their brains have been conditioned to fear, leading to heightened anxiety and a sense of losing control. Unfortunately, essential routines like sleep, exercise, and even therapy can fall by the wayside. To stay grounded, try to stick to a few core elements of your routine, even if that’s just getting up at the same time each day or eating lunch at the same time.

3. Heightened Emotional Demands of the Season

The holidays come with an added emotional load, whether it’s keeping up with extra family expectations, managing seasonal traditions, or just handling the “holiday cheer” everyone else seems to be feeling. For people with PTSD, who are already managing a heavier-than-usual emotional load, this added layer can be exhausting.

And sometimes, it’s the expectations from family and friends that feel overwhelming. Family members may ask you to travel or participate in traditions that don’t align with where you are in your healing journey, leaving you feeling stretched too thin. Setting realistic expectations and giving yourself permission to opt out or create new traditions can be a powerful step.

4. Overcommitment and People-Pleasing

People-pleasing behaviors are often rooted in trauma, particularly in cases of relational trauma. You might have learned that keeping others happy was the safest option, especially if your boundaries weren’t respected in the past. This need to make others happy can become all-consuming during the holidays, leading you to overcommit and stretch yourself thin to avoid conflict.

One way to manage this is by setting boundaries that honor your emotional needs. Remember, saying “no” to one obligation can often mean saying “yes” to your needs. If you feel guilty, remind yourself that preserving your mental health isn’t rejecting anyone—it’s about taking care of yourself.

Managing the Holidays when you have PTSD

5. Financial Strain and Gift-Giving Pressure

Gift-giving can add financial pressure, and for trauma survivors, financial stress can be a significant trigger. If you’ve lived through situations where resources were scarce or felt unsafe financially, even small holiday expenses can bring up feelings of insecurity or anxiety,

One way to reduce this pressure is to focus on simplifying your approach to gift-giving. Set a budget that works for you, plan out gifts in advance, or consider alternatives like giving experiences or homemade gifts. Prioritizing financial boundaries can create room for a healthier holiday experience.

6. Loneliness and Isolation

Holidays are marketed as a season of “togetherness,” but if you’re estranged from family or feel disconnected, the emphasis on family and social events can deepen feelings of isolation. This is especially hard if social connections are already a struggle due to mistrust or fear of vulnerability stemming from trauma (The Conversation, 2023).

If this resonates with you, try focusing on creating intentional connections with a small, trusted group or building solo traditions that bring you comfort. Reach out to a friend, participate in a small gathering, or find moments of joy through activities you love. Remember, connection doesn’t have to look a certain way.

Woman looking for ways to cope with PTSD and holiday stress

7. Substance Use and Poor Coping Mechanisms

Holiday events often mean alcohol is everywhere, and while it might seem like a quick fix for anxiety or stress, alcohol can worsen PTSD symptoms in the long run. The risk here is that alcohol, food, or other substances become coping mechanisms to numb uncomfortable emotions. These habits may provide temporary relief but often leave you feeling worse afterward.

Consider setting personal limits on substances at gatherings and leaving if you feel pressured. If you know certain gatherings will involve substances, ask yourself if attending is the healthiest choice for you this season.

8. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and Depression

Winter’s shorter days and lack of sunlight can bring on Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), worsening depressive symptoms that trauma survivors may already struggle with. Feeling physically “down” can make emotional burdens feel even heavier during the holidays (Psychology Today, 2023).

Staying mindful of SAD’s impact can help. Light therapy, spending more time outside, or simple self-care practices can all improve mood and energy, even when the days feel darker and colder.

Section 2: Practical Strategies for Managing PTSD and Holiday Stress Symptoms

1. Prioritize Your Needs and Values

Take time to think about what matters to you during the holidays. This may mean letting go of certain “shoulds” or old expectations. Spend time focusing on traditions or activities that feel meaningful to you.

2. Set Boundaries Early and Stick to Them

Plan for how long you’ll stay at gatherings, communicate your boundaries with someone supportive, and give yourself permission to leave if it becomes too much. Having an “exit strategy” helps, especially if you’re around potential triggers.

3. Maintain Your Wellness Routine

While the season might disrupt your usual schedule, try to keep up with a few core habits. Regular sleep and physical activity play huge roles in mental health, and don’t forget to drink some water!

4. Develop Cognitive Flexibility

Cognitive flexibility, a skill developed in trauma therapy, can help you adapt when things don’t go as planned. This is about helping you have more realistic beliefs and expectations of the world, while also holding true to your boundaries and beliefs. This skill set is what allows you to be flexible when needed, without feeling taken advantage of.

5. Manage Financial Stress with Intentional Gift-Giving

Simplify gift-giving by setting a budget and choosing meaningful options that don’t add stress. Financial health is part of your mental health, and it’s okay to choose simplicity over extravagance. Plus, everyone likes cash and gift cards!

Anxiety and Stress during the holidays can add to seasonal affective disorder or SAD

6. Prepare for Difficult Interactions

Reflect on past gatherings and identify potential triggers. Then, use that information to decide how you will respond this year. Maybe in years past you were young and had to go along with the adults wanted. But, now you’re the adult, so you can walk away from difficult people, or not go near them in the first place. Remember where you now have power and how to use it to protect yourself.

7. Limit Alcohol and Substance Use

If gatherings involve alcohol, set personal limits or bring a non-alcoholic option. If it feels safer to avoid certain events, honor that feeling.

8. Create New Rituals and Traditions

Consider replacing triggering traditions with ones that bring you comfort. Small practices like watching a favorite movie, practicing gratitude, or taking time to journal can help you find moments of peace and connection.

Conclusion: Navigating the Holidays with Intention and Self-Compassion

Managing PTSD during the holiday season is a real challenge, but with boundaries, cognitive flexibility, and self-compassion, you can find a way that honors your needs. Remember, you don’t have to show up at every gathering or meet every expectation—you get to decide what’s right for you this season. The goal isn’t to force joy where it feels absent but to protect your well-being and seek out the moments of peace that you need most.

You Don't Have to Navigate This Alone!

If the holidays are feeling overwhelming or if you’re struggling to manage your symptoms, please know that you don’t have to do it alone. Trauma-focused therapy can make a profound difference, helping you regain a sense of control and build tools for navigating challenging times like these.

If you’re ready to start working through your trauma, I’d be honored to support you in Massachusetts, Virginia, Illinois, Florida, or Vermont. Reach out to schedule a consultation, and let’s work together to help you reclaim peace, safety, and well-being.

Click Here to book your free trauma therapy consultation

FAQ: Your Questions About PTSD & Holiday Stress

Click or tap any question to see the answer. Click or tap again to close.

Q: What if family gatherings trigger old trauma?

A: Plan ahead by setting boundaries and having an exit strategy. Practice grounding techniques, such as deep breathing or mindfulness exercises, to stay centered.

Q: How do I manage holiday stress if I feel isolated?

A: Connect with one or two safe people, even if it’s virtually. Limit social media and try activities like an art project or journaling for comfort.

Q: What if I can’t avoid alcohol at gatherings?

A: Set a personal limit on alcohol intake or bring a non-alcoholic beverage to stay grounded. Consider skipping gatherings if you feel they’re unsafe or triggering.

Ready to start healing? Book your free consultation!

References for Further Reading:

American SPCC. (n.d.). 3 proven ways parents can lower holiday stress and increase joy. Retrieved from https://americanspcc.org/3-proven-ways-parents-can-lower-holiday-stress-and-increase-joy/?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwj4K5BhDYARIsAD1Ly2qLMDVjNYUWduUzsmX8XsLhg82OPUcpOUEN7YvzAGxSdB6xwrvRxSsaAv-nEALw_wcB
BBR Foundation. (n.d.). Managing stress around holidays. Retrieved from https://bbrfoundation.org/blog/managing-stress-around-holidays
Brain & Life. (n.d.). Take the tension out of your holiday with these smart tips. Retrieved from https://www.brainandlife.org/articles/take-the-tension-out-of-your-holiday-with-these-smart
Harvard Medical School. (n.d.). Holiday stress and your brain. Retrieved from https://hms.harvard.edu/news-events/publications-archive/brain/holiday-stress-brain
Lyra Health. (n.d.). Holiday stress. Retrieved from https://www.lyrahealth.com/blog/holiday-stress/
Mindful.org. (n.d.). Train your brain to tame holiday stress and anxiety. Retrieved from https://www.mindful.org/train-brain-tame-holiday-stress-anxiety/
Psychology Today. (2023). The dark side of the holiday season. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/un-numb/202312/the-dark-side-of-the-holiday-season
The Conversation. (2023). The holidays and your brain: A neuroscientist explains how to identify and manage your emotions. Retrieved from https://theconversation.com/the-holidays-and-your-brain-a-neuroscientist-explains-how-to-identify-and-manage-your-emotions-218251